


The Cold of a Curse

by Moons_Mate



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Mysticism, Nightmares, Spooky, Supernatural Elements, Sweet Jesse McCree, Tired Hanzo Shimada
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-07-28 09:28:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20061778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moons_Mate/pseuds/Moons_Mate
Summary: Hanzo Shimada was a skeptic. He took comfort in knowing that he was reasonably not out of his mind and was not easily unnerved by the unusual.But as certain energies begin to target the former Shimada heir, he is forced to question his sanity.Especially when his life is at risk.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back again with a new story! This isnt beta'd and I'm half blind so please excuse any errors. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it.

Strange things were happening on base. 

Hanzo doesn't know  _ exactly _ when they began but he can tell the difference between freak accidents and supernatural happenings. The first time he felt something was off was when he left his quarters on an early Friday morning. It was 4:30 am, just early enough that the training rooms wouldn't be occupied. He enjoyed the solitude, the quiet moments in which he meditated and stretched his aging bones.

But as he stepped out of his room with his bow slung across his shoulders, Hanzo stopped.

The entire area in front of his door was cold. Colder than the air conditioning would go even during a summer heatwave on Gibraltar. 

It was fall.

Hanzo furrowed his brows and walked further into the hallway, wondering if there was a malfunction with the air conditioning but his dragons rustled uneasily beneath his skin as the temperature went back to normal only a few feet away. 

Confusion swirled in Hanzo's chest as he tentatively walked back into the area, gooseflesh covering his arms and shoulders as the air was bitingly cold, just in front of his room. His hair stood on end.

He looked up, shrewd dark eyes scanning the area above the doorway and to his dismay, there was no air vent of any sort. Just metal and plaster.

With a deep and uneasy frown, hanzo walked away from his room, willing his overactive mind to settle with calming deep breaths.

\---

The second time something unusual happened, McCree was dragging his feet in the kitchen, his spurs jingling obnoxiously. Jesse was decent company and hanzo was at least 70 percent sure that every word out of the cowboy was flirtatious towards him. He rebuffed him every time but the cowboy seemed at ease with the rejection, always turning it into invigorating banter between the two.

They often had supper together after a long day of training and Hanzo found that he really didn't mind as much as he used to. Jesse was entertaining if nothing else and hanzo had long accepted the fact that he was tired of being a lonely hermit.

Hanzo was moments away from calling it a night once he glanced at the bright red number on the wall clock and realized it read 3:07 A.M. Far too late to be up, especially considering they had a mission briefing that very morning.

But when he looked at Jesse to wish him good night something was...off.

Hanzo squinted at the cowboys face intently, trying to figure out what he was looking at. For all intent and purposes, his face didn't transform into anything outlandish, just... _ wrong _ somehow.

But suddenly Jesse's bright brown eyes seemed flatter and dim like expired chocolate pudding , his healthy tanned skin seemed paler and his cheeks became sunken and gaunt. His mouth opened in a 'O' that was  _ way _ too wide and a terrifying and blood curdling groan escaped.

Hanzo blanched, his words dying viciously in his throat. 

  
  


" _ H...hanz-o _ .."

What was once Jesse McCree hobbled towards him, a limp growing in his left leg and his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The once white sclera filling rapidly with dark red blood.

Hanzo could not move, the air around him became colder than any winter he had braved. Hair on his arms stood and his dragons wrestled beneath his flesh, anxious and angry. His heart pounded relentlessly, cold sweat pooling beneath his armpits and his lower back. His hands clenched the edge of the counter, knuckles white. His breath was stuck in his throat.

Hanzo Shimada was no coward. 

But this was something he never faced in his 38 years of living.

Mccree was suddenly at the counter where he sat, moving faster than hanzo's eyes could follow and the marksman gave a full body flinch. 

The cowboy's scarred hand reached out to him stiffly. Hanzo was incapable of budging an inch. 

  
  


"Hanzo... _ Hanzo- _ !" McCree's warm and strong hand gripped hanzo's shoulder and shook him gently, piercing through the foggy trance that Hanzo was caught in with a perplexed frown.

  
  
  


"You okay there? You looked like you seen't a ghost." Hanzo blinked at him, the dark shadows that tugged at his handsome features gone and replaced with stark concern.

"I... think I simply need to rest." Hanzo said, his heart pounding and his head throbbing. He put a hand to his forehead in a weak attempt to alleviate the sudden sharp pain that bloomed beneath the skin to no avail. He tried to stand up but stumbled slightly off the side of the metal stool. 

" _ Woah _ woah, you need me to take you to the Medbay? Angie can take a look at'cha because you don't look so hot." McCree's voice was closer and his hand was a heavy support on his shoulder, ready to catch hanzo if he were to fall. 

Hanzo frowned at the hand on his shoulder distractedly. He wasn't so tired that he should be hallucinating but what he saw was... _ very _ real. He wasn't going mad. And he didn't need to be coddled like a spooked dog. Hanzo wrenched his body away with a soft snarl and stood up straight to his full height. 

"I am fine. Thank you for your offer but I do not need you assistance. Have a good night Mccree. " he hissed venomously, anger, shock,fear and slight humiliation swam nauseatingly in his stomach like a gut wrenching cocktail. He knew in the back of his mind he was overreacting but as the air around him dropped a few dozen degrees, he couldn't find it in himself to be cordial. He tried to suppress his violent shivering and grit his teeth in anxiety. 

Not waiting for a response, Hanzo tried to stride away from the cowboy only to find his vision darkening as he stumbled towards the exit. 

The grey metallic doors tilted at an interesting angle and Hanzo thinks he hears his name being shouted but he couldn't focus on anything except the harsh and frigid cold that completely envelops his body as he quickly blacks out.

\----

When Hanzo regained consciousness, he found himself in a peculiar state.

He wasn't completely aware of what was happening, only that someone was screaming bloody murder and that he was being restrained within scorching hot and strong arms.

It took a few moments for him to realize that  _ he, _ was in fact screaming wildly, as if he were being tortured and his face ached dully with the strain of the agonized expression that it was locked in.

"Hanzo, can you hear me, am I making sense to you?" A frantic and concerned voice spoke from somewhere above him and he realized that he was most likely in Angelea's office. 

  
  
  


Hanzo forced his teeth together and sealed his lips together, trying to suppress the panicked wails that were bubbling in his chest. He tried to relax his body, realizing his entire body was taut like a bow and snapped his eyes open to face a pair of perturbed brown eyes bordered by furrowed brows. 

Jesse released his tight, bastardized version of a bear hug and hanzo tried to sit up only to find his muscles exhausted and unresponsive. 

"What...happened?" Hanzo rasped out painfully, his throat in shreds from screaming for so long. Angela took a small flashlight and pointed it into hanzo's eyes while pulling at his eyelids. Concerned at what she saw, she stood up fully and put her fingers to his neck and checked his pulse.

Hanzo could feel his heart hammering away in his chest like a war drum and shivered violently as a cold draft entered the sealed room.

Angela frowned at him.

"Jesse brought you here after you fainted in the kitchen this morning. I did a physical scan but found nothing out of place. I took some of your blood and sent them to the lab for some tests." Angela said, hooking him up to a few machines and Hanzo felt drained in a way he had never been before. "

Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut, the bright fluorescent lights in the room giving him a terrible headache. He breathed as evenly as he could and tried to wrap his tired mind around what happened in the past day.

"Hanzo," Jesse began, shuffling restlessly in his chair next to the bed, his hat missing and hands clasped together tightly. His face was drawn in such a worried expression that Hanzo felt a pang of guilt throb in his chest. 

"What's happening? What did you  _ see _ ?" Hanzo felt his jaw clench against his will as the ghastly and horrendous image of the cowboy flashed in his mind. He said nothing, in fear of his internal turmoil seeping through his lips against his will. 

"Look, I've been around the bend a few times and I can tell when someone has... _ seen _ something." The cowboy shuffled again and hanzo distantly wondered where his ugly hat was. 

"I've been in the desert long enough ta know things ain't how they usually seem." Jesse said as he lowered his voice and scooted his seat closer to hanzo.

"Just know, I'm here for ya." He gave hanzo a sobered look. 

Hanzo twitched as Angela pricked his arm with a needle and met Jesse's eyes for a few moments before looking away.

"Noted."

  
  
  
  



	2. Cauchemar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want you all to know that everytime I receive a comment, I am invigorated and inspired to write more. I adore you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Hanzo was growing restless. 

  
  


Hanzo was discharged a few hours later after the blood work returned with no oddities. Angela gave him a few psychological exams and asked him enough questions that hanzo had to breathe deeply in order not to snap at the blond. Angela was calm in the face of his biting glare and sulfuric attitude as she signed him off to return to duty after deeming him fit.

"If you have any more episodes, I insist you let me know  _ immediately _ . If you neglect to inform me I  _ will _ let Jack know and I  _ will _ keep you from going on missions until  _ I _ can be assured that you are not going to be a risk to yourself or your allies." Angela's cool voice stopped him before he left her office. 

Hanzo clenched his fist and breathed sharply through his mouth as he stood facing away from her. His hackles were raised and the stress of the past week was catching up to him. He needed to leave before he did something regrettable. 

"I understand. Thank you again for the help." With that, he swiftly left the medbay with a deep scowl.

  
  
  


After the major episode with McCree, their relationship had taken on an...odd tone. Hanzo could not look at his friends face without seeing the ghoulish image that he saw before. And McCree always looked at hanzo with a curious and patient look, waiting for him to  _ 'open up _ ' and  _ 'tell him what he saw _ '. 

Hanzo scoffed every time he saw the expression. 

Hanzo was beginning to feel stir crazy and irritated as he wandered around the base. It had been a month since the incident and he had yet to be assigned a mission. People gave him a wide berth after he snapped at Hana Song for tripping near him and scaring him so badly that he nearly jumped a foot in his seat. He had been a snarling mess of frustration and anxiety as his cheeks took on a flushed hue.

He felt extremely guilty afterwards and apologized to the young meka pilot.

He enjoyed being at Watchpoint Gibraltar, with it's amazing picturesque views and spacious training rooms but hanzo began to feel claustrophobic. 

  
  
  


It was around 1 PM when hanzo finally left his quarters donned in a warm blue sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants. He knew he would attract attention to himself considering it was almost 80 degrees. But the cold that tormented him slowly and surely become apart of his very being. 

He had spent all morning meditating fruitlessly, trying to find internal peace that was escaping him no matter how much he tried to relax. He was almost tempted to seek council from Zenyatta, who had just returned from a week long mission with Brigitte Lindholm, but the sour twist in his chest at the thought of exposing his emotions to the Omnic buried that idea.

There was always the option to pick apart Jesse McCree's mind and figure out if he actually had anything useful to share but Hanzo found the idea of talking to the cowboy about it as appealing as  _ grinding _ his funny bones into dust.

He stalked into the kitchen with his tea set in his hands, frustrated that he was forced to use the amenities in the kitchen rather than his convenient electric kettle. 

_ All _ of his electronics had begun breaking mysteriously this last month, his kettle, radio,his modestly sized television and his phone. They all seemed to just refuse to turn on and when he took them to the engineers out of desperation, they could see no valid reason as to why they did not function. 

Hanzo wondered what deity he pissed off to deserve this.

As he walked in, he noticed Brigitte standing near the long metal table near the kitchen,hands tinkering with something he couldn't see clearly and a piece of chocolate covered toast sitting on a plate next to her. Zenyatta was also there, speaking to her in warm and muted tones, looking at the object in her hands and pointing at it every once in a while. 

Hanzo felt like bashing his face into the wall at his horrid luck.

They noticed him before he could even think of stealthily leaving and with a resigned sigh he nodded at them in greeting. 

"Good morning!" Brigitte said brightly, eyeing his thick clothing warily. She was wearing a pair of bright red short shorts and tank top while somehow still sweating bullets in the air conditioned space. He raised a brow at her as he gently placed his tea set on a counter. 

"Greetings, Hanzo." Zenyatta's voice was as genial as a robotic voice could be but hanzo heard the slight tang of confusion and unasked questions from the voice box. Hanzo held back a frown.

"How was your mission?" He asked politely, not really caring about the answer but refusing to behave like an uncouth cretin.

" _ Aha _ , it started off great but ended on the rocky side. Good thing Zenyatta was there to help protect the omnics we were escorting from a talon ambush. He can be terrifyingly… _ fierce _ when he wants to be." Brigitte's hazel eyes uneasily slid to the omnic in question who was sitting at the table with his head still tilted in hanzo's direction.

Hanzo understood her distrust for the monk. From what he understood, Brigitte and Reinhardt faced many enemies during their adventures, mostly omnics and low life criminals. But as she would come to learn, the omnic was no threat to them.

An honest to God, peace loving  _ omnic _ . It was almost infuriating.

"I sense that your spirit is bothered by the violence I exhibited during our mission. I assure you that I took no joy from it." Zenyatta's softly blinking lights and melodic voice was reassuring to the girl apparently, for her stiff posture relaxed and she set down the contraption in her hand in favor for her toast. Hanzo silently filled the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove. 

The kitchen was silent for a few moments and Hanzo stared blankly at the steel countertop. 

"I sense discord within you as well Hanzo, both your own and...not. Will you allow me to help you, even if just a little." Hanzo jumped at the sudden close proximity of the omnic, and looked around frantically. He looked at the tea kettle and saw that the water had boiled away half of what he put in and that Brigitte had seemingly been long gone. Hanzo furrowed his brow and quickly turned off the stove with slightly shaking hands. 

Hanzo rubbed his face tiredly, his age bleeding through as he turned to the omnic who was floating silently beside him. 

"I doubt there is anything you can do to ease my troubles.  _ All _ I do is meditate. I doubt more of it will help." He laughed bitterly, his urge to drink tea long gone like a distant memory.

"Maybe so, but you haven't tried meditating with  _ me _ ." The omnic said cheekily, humor coloring his words. Hanzo bit the inside of his cheek in irritation.

"Do not meditate for the sake of it, meditate to cleanse your spirit, meditate with purpose so that when you're done you feel a sense of accomplishment." Hanzo turned to face the omnic completely, his brown eyes scrutinizing the robots metal face. His lights blinked rhythmically, the blue seemingly brighter than usual above his slitted eyes. 

"Will you join me for at least one session with the iris?" Against his better judgment , Hanzo hesitantly nodded, the deep sense of desperation and frustration leaving him willing to try anything for the inner peace he had struggled to regain after reuniting with his brother. 

Zenyatta seemed pleased at this and began floating to the connected common area. Hanzo followed him at a slower pace. 

  
  


"The Iris gives insight to the things that we cannot find an answer to. But only if you look deep within its gaze to  _ ask _ ." Zenyatta chose a corner away from the doors and below the wide window to sit down, his large mala orbs lifting from his shoulders to spin around his head slowly. Hanzo took a similar pose to him, crossing his legs rather than his usual Seiza.

"Find the center of yourself, look into your very essence and you will find the Iris's warmth waiting for you." Zenyatta's voice was like static honey, a bead leaving his form to orbit around Hanzo. Peace began to wash away the dark and stale confusion that had taken over his psyche like an illness, and as he sat with the omnic, for the first time in a long time, Hanzo felt  _ warm _ .

\---

_ It was dark. He couldn't see. A pervasive sense of dread and terror filled him to the brim. Hanzo couldn't move. His eyes shot down to his hands and feet and was surprised to see them unbound. His muscles refused to succumb to his will as ice water swam in his veins.  _

_ Hanzo was so very very cold.  _

_ The sudden sensation of something wet and cold dripping on his head startled him. Silence echoed around him. His breath was trembling ,far too loud in the stygian void that surrounded him in a wet embrace.  _

_ The dripping upon his head increased suddenly, the sticky foreign liquid sluicing onto his hair like paint. Hanzo was filled with a wild sense of apprehension as he looked up slowly. He could hear distant, violent roars of his dragons, and goosebumps coated every inch of his flesh as he peered through the wet strands of his oily black hair.  _

  
  


_ Shocked brown eyes met dead brown swimming in black sclera. It was as if he were looking through a cursed mirror.  _

_ Hanzo stared, frozen, at his deathly pale face, tendons standing and black tar filled blood vessels straining against gaunt white skin.  _

_ Hanzo felt his heart clench tightly in a raw, ice cold panic as his copy opened his mouth and a  _ ** _black_ ** _ viscous liquid spilled right onto hanzo's face. The liquid filled his nose and mouth, suffocating him as the taste and smell of rotten blood invaded his senses.  _

_ Hanzo couldn't close his eyes, locked in a staring contest with himself. He felt something dark and sticky cover his body, stifling, suffocating and cold as he stared into the bleak eyes above him. The dead, flat eyes above him suddenly rolled wildly and hanzo felt his mouth open against his will his voice catching in his chest as he began- _

Hanzo was screaming long before he was awake. Hot hands were pressing him down into his bed as he thrashed wildly, against them, seeking freedom from the terror he witnessed. Hanzo was mad with fear, wildly tearing at the person holding him back, snarling and snapping with his teeth when he sensed something near his face. 

He could hear voices speaking above him but they made no sense in his terror inspired rage. He felt his fingers claw through warm flesh, something hot and wet coating them and he distantly heard a low moan of pain. Scorching hot tears covered his face and he sobbed as he felt someone grab him with strong arms and tow him out of his disheveled bed.

Large calloused hands manhandled his body into a comfortable and safe position on the hard ground and between thick thighs.

"I've gotcha, don't worry." A smoky voice said above him and hanzo went limp in the arms holding him as the scent of cigar smoke and bourbon filled his nostrils.

He opened his eyes and tensed, his body pulled taut like his storm bow. His eyes swiveled wildly around his room, blind and unseeing.

"I- I  _ can't SEE _ !" Hanzo's panicked voice sounded like he spent the past week ingesting scrap metal. The person holding him paused, before quickly restraining the archer. Hanzo struggled wildly but his frenzied movements were no match for the sure and steady movements of the hands above him. His heart was throbbing wildly in his chest, sweat dripping from his scalp despite the near negative temperature in his room.

"Shh shh, relax. Hold on a sec- breathe in deeply for me buddy."

Hanzo could hear something rip and not a moment later he felt soft material wrap around his head and cover his blinded eyes. 

It was freezing in his room, he could feel the warm puffs of air on his wet cheeks. The material that covered his eyes inexplicably calmed him along with the voice in his ear.

Hanzo began to settle in the darkness that came traveled from his nightmares, his only solace was the warm tenor that spoke above him comfortingly. 

"There you go, just like that. You're okay. You're fine, don't worry your pretty little head over a thing, I've gotcha." Jesse McCree repeated to the archer over and over, his arms tight around the archers limp form as he rocked them back and forth. Their legs were tangled, hanzo's bare feet pressing against McCree's warm and uncovered legs. He must have woken him with his screaming, came the strikingly lucid thought. 

Hanzo couldn't tell you how long they sat on the floor, but after a good while his door slammed open violently and hanzo couldn't hold back a whimper of fear that escaped him as he shoved his damp, messy face into Jesse's neck.

" _ Jesus _ \- what the fuck- its like a fucking freezer in here. I can  _ see my fucking breath _ " A loud, scratchy voice grumbled out. Hanzo flinched at the nearness of the voice and his dragons thrashed violently beneath his skin, angry and vengeful. 

"Oh- _ Oh dear _ ," Angela's sharp gasp pierced hanzo's dulled consciousness and he loudly hissed at the sensation of her long dainty fingers on the heated flesh of his neck.

"Hush now, you'll be fine, McCree, can you place him in the wheelchair?"

"Yes ma'am." Jesse said, an unknown emotion coloring his voice. Angela looked at the gashes deep in McCree's forearms and started with wide eyes. She began to say something when he shook his head stiffly and nodded at the quivering archer in his embrace. 

Angela took his pulse and cursed under her breath as the body beneath Hanzo shifted to move him. Hanzo tightened wrapped his arms around Jesse's neck tightly and let out a distressed sound when strange hands tried to pull him away. 

Jesse was nearly choking when the strange hands finally ceased their attempts at separation. 

With a defeated sigh, Angela muttered something to Torbjorn who cursed loudly stomped out of hanzo's room. 

"You'll have to carry him it seems" Angela said, her voice sounding further away as the sound of wheels rolling away faded. Hanzo suddenly felt nauseous.

Jesse stood and wrapped his arms beneath hanzo's legs, hiking his legs around his waist. Hanzo knew if he had even a small portion of his faculties he would have been flustered and aggravated at the humiliating position but he couldn't focus on anything beyond the raw vulnerability writhing beneath his flesh, sensitive to even the air that touched him. Movement made Hanzo's stomach roll violently and all McCree had as warning was a low groan. 

"What the- _aw_ _hell_." 

Hanzo lost his lunch right in the crook of Jesse McCree's neck as his head spun endlessly.

Hanzo sniffled wetly and the arms around him tightened.

"You'll be alright. I'll make sure of it." Jesse promised with furrowed brows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that escalated quickly.
> 
> Let me know what you think about what has happened so far and what you think will happen!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! @_@ I'm sorry for the delay and i hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Hanzo drifted. The walk from his room to the Medbay wasn't a short one but before he knew it, he could smell the sharp scent of antiseptic and the odd,  _ refreshing _ smell of bio fluid. Hanzo was jostled around slightly and heard Jesse breathe a sigh of relief as they both descended.    
  


Jesse looked worriedly to the semi conscious man in his arms. Hanzo's condition was slowly worsening it seemed. Hanzo's eyes were still covered, his pale face covered in sweat, soaking the material gradually as he shivered violently. His body was pliant against McCree, his breathing a whirlwind of staccato and raspy breaths. 

' _ What in the world is happening to you _ .' Jesse thought to himself, wincing slightly as hanzo's body jerked suddenly and applied pressure onto his wounded arm.

Angela opened the door that separated the medbay and her office and walked towards them, carrying a large bag while rolling an I.V stand to them. She had a pensive look on her face, her frown darkening her usually bright face.

"He might be suffering from some sort of blindness, said he couldn't see earlier." Jesse said lowly as she motioned to the torn cloth wrapped around his head in confusion.

"I'll check it out. Athena will help me perform the proper scans later."

  
  


Jesse readjusted himself on the bed as Hanzo suddenly tossed his head into the crook of Jesse's neck, his hair smacking Jesse in the face as he groaned quietly. 

Jesse snorted softly as he pushed away the damp strands that clung to the archers pale face. Hanzo's nose jabbed into Jesse's jugular uncomfortably but Jesse didn't dare move him. A small part of him could appreciate the close contact but he felt a bit bitter that Hanzo wasn't in his right mind and actively  _ choosing _ to snuggle him like a limp koala.

He and Angela previously had a conversation about what might be the issue with their resident archer but much to his chagrin, she had shot down any and all speculation that seemed to branch off into the supernatural. 

_ "But Angie, you gotta admit this is strange, a bit too sudden for a mental break especially since he was damn near perfectly fine before." Jesse argued, lifting his hat and dusting it in agitation.  _

_ They were seated outside near the garages, waiting for Angela's new shipment of medical supplies. It had been a few days since hanzo's sudden 'mental break' as Angela had called it and McCree tagged along to talk to her.  _

_ He pulled out his cigar and lit it, ignoring her sneer of disgust as she stood and walked a few feet in front of him. Her clear blue eyes were shadowed in thought as she stared at the sky, the blue slowly shifting into a golden orange of dusk.  _ _ She bit her forefinger absently.  _

_ "I would agree with you Jesse but ever since Hanzo returned from his mission in Haiti with baptiste, hes been acting, well rather odd. He might have been exposed to some chemicals or been involved in an incident that was traumatic to him. It's not out of the question." She argued back, crossing her arms and picking at dust on her near pristine lab coat.  _

_ Jesse rolled his eyes and took a deep pull from his cigar. _

_ "Then why hasn't he or Baptiste said anything about it. 'Sides, Baptiste ain't show none of the odd behaviors that Hanzo is showin'!" Jesse spit out with a steely voice, putting out his cigar with agitated movements.  _

_ Angela raised her brows at his jilted movements and shifted closer to him. _

_ She let out a sigh. _

_ "Let's stick to the facts Jesse. Possession? Paranormal activity? Its spiritual hubaloo." She scoffed shaking her bangs out of her face, her vermillion painted lips twisted in annoyance.  _

_ Jesse grit his teeth and breathed slowly in a poor attempt to restrain his irritation. He put on his hat and dropped his cigar, stepping on the red hot bud before standing up and peering down at Angela. His eyes glistened dangerously beneath the brim of his hat. _

_ "You'll see doc, and when you do I hope it ain't too late."  _

  
  


\---

  
  


Hanzo was delirious. He was muttering something inaudible under his breath, the tonal shifts made it seem like he were... speaking to someone. Jesse's face was set in a deep frown, blood dripping slowly from his arm , landing on stark white linens of the hospital bed.

Jesse shifted backwards, pulling the shorter man more securely on his lap as he struggled to remember the old chants his grandmother used to recite whenever the wind would whistle ominously on their remote ranch.

She would always say that the winds carried the voices of spirits, sometimes light and friendly, other times dark and diabolical. 

Jesse was still a teenager when he left home, but his grandmother's tales stuck to his subconscious like epoxy.

He began muttering the ancient words of his grandmother's tribe, the same ones that she would whisper into his ear as a child when he was terrorized by recurring nightmares. They had soothed them endlessly when he was a young boy.

But as he whispered to the archer, he tensed, frozen in movement and his incoherent mumbling silenced. 

Jesse almost forgot the words on the spot, sweat began forming on his neck as a cold draft suddenly swept through the enclosed room.

Angela shivered, her lab coat useless against biting cold that bled into the room. 

Their eyes met, dark brown under heavy furrowed brows meeting apprehensive blue. 

She shifted her gaze from the cowboy to the Shimada in his arms with searching eyes before Jesse pointedly cleared his throat and she remembered what she was there to do.

With Jesse's help, she inserted the I.V catheter into hanzo's right arm, his veins protruding almost grotesquely. 

Jesse held Hanzo awkwardly, blood drying thickly on his tanned skin and their clothing. It seems Hanzo's pajamas were worse for wear. His long sleeved thermal was soaked with sweat and Jesse's blood. His pants were in disarray and he was missing his left dark blue sock.

"He gonna be alright?" Jesse asked quietly, worry pinching his brows together. 

They weren't the closest of friends but they were no casual strangers. Jesse prided himself for knowing the most about the reserved assassin in all of overwatch- maybe except for Genji.

So when Jesse looked down at the mop of deep black locks resting on his chest, he couldn't stop the sharp twinge of worry that filled his chest.

"I  _ can't _ tell you for sure Jesse. I can monitor his body and administer physical aid if he requires, but wellness of his mental state is something I can't be certain of. " she said with a sigh as she motioned for Jesse to let Hanzo lie in bed on his own. 

When Jesse finally managed to wrangle the dazed Shimada into pristine sheets, Angela spotted his wounded arms and let put a gasp.

"Jesse! Why didn't you let me know you were injured!" She scowled at his innocent expression. 

"Aw, come on doc, you know I was dealing with something that required my attention a little bit more." 

Angela grabbed a first aid kit and put on the thin glasses that rested around her neck.

She peered at the claw marks and hissed slightly as she prodded the inflamed flesh around the wound gently. 

"Some of these will require stitches Jesse. You need to be more diligent about your health." 

"I am! If it were life threatening I would have said somethin'."

"Would you  _ really _ ."

"Hey, if I passed out from blood loss you'd notice." Jesse replied cheekily, a small smile on his face. His expression dimmed a bit when hanzo gave a soft warble behind him.

Angela began patching him up. Her eyes strayed to the disturbed Shimada often as Jesse fidgeted beneath her skilled hands.

"God I need a smoke." He complained. Angela directed a steady at him as he slumped into his seat.

"I have to let the commander know Hanzo isn't well. "

Jesse shifted uncomfortably, immediately understanding what that would entail. 

"You know hanzo wouldn't like that. Jack would bench him and he's been itching for a mission for almost a month now. " 

Angela made a face.

"I understand that but honestly Jesse! Look at him and tell me he is in any condition to participate in the dangerous and critical missions he usually takes!" Angela cried out as she wrapped the bandages around Jesse's forearms a smidgen too tightly. He winced and tried to reason with her.

"I  _ know _ , but he ain't gonna be like this forever Angie! Give him some time. You don't understand how much he's been waiting to do somethin'" He pleaded gently. Jesse may not be the smartest fella around but he could be mighty observant if he wanted to be. He noticed the way hanzo's lips twisted into a scowl when they checked their tablets and there wasn't any work listed for him. Jesse honestly couldn't remember the last time Hanzo left Gibraltar for a mission. 

He knew the eldest Shimada must have been feeling keyed up from the lack of action. They didn't make it public knowledge but Jesse and hanzo sort of had a little competition between them on who could take out the most talon agents by the end of the year. Loser would have to do whatever,  _ within reason _ , the winner wanted. Hanzo felt confident enough in his skills that he simply smirked at Jesse and accepted his challenge. 

But at this rate Jesse was going to win just from the fact that Hanzo couldn't actively participate. That just took the fun out of the whole deal.

Angela pursed her lips into a frown and stood from her stool, gathering her tools.

"I cannot take that risk Jesse. Do not make me the bad guy. Maybe Jack will be able to find a psychologist who can properly tend to him. But as of now, he is not fit." 

Jesse heard the resolve and the finality of her voice and sighed, rubbing his blood stained hands on his face tiredly. He looked over at the Shimada in question who seemed to be sleeping, his body limp against the white sheets and his face paler than death. Jesse stared at his friend warily. 

"Yer a tough son of a gun. You'll be just fine."

Little did they know that things were going to get far worse before they got better.

\----

  
  


Hanzo came to with the world bathed in light. 

He felt  _ exhausted _ beyond belief. 

His head felt as if his brain was made of cotton and his skull made of paper. The soft shuffle of sheets rubbing together around him sent a shock of pain to his tender head. He squinted against the overwhelming light before giving up and closing his eyes at iron  _ hot _ pain that throbbed the longer he stubbornly kept his eyes open. 

He breathed slowly, trying to understand his environment. He smelled the strong scent of bio fluid, the smell of peroxide and faint familiar traces of blood and sweat.

He couldn't hear anyone nearby and he wanted to get up but his limbs felt like they weren't his, heavy and detached.

His exhaustion suddenly caught up with him and he fell into oblivion once again.

  
  


Hanzo woke again but he could immediately tell that something was different. Muted music reached his ears and he found the tension in his body leaving immediately. Hanzo slowly opened his eyes, learning quickly from his previous mistake, only to find the bright light completely off. He blinked once,twice only to notice that his eyes were sharp in the dark. 

His eyesight was always honed and sharp but not so much in the dark. 

But now he could see the minute details in the textured white ceiling without strain. 

He furrowed his brows and tried to move, anticipating pain but to his shock, he felt nothing. His memory was muddled. He remembered very little beyond darkness and terror.   
  


He sat up slowly, and scanned the room. He spotted a tiny green frog shaped speaker on the table near his bed and recognized one of Lúcios soothing tracks playing. 

Hanzo pushed off the sheet that was tucked in so restrictively around him. He noted the I.V in the crook of his elbow and the multitude of wires tangled around him with a frown. He was unwilling to wait for Angela or lucio to release him. He wanted out of the sterile room more than anything. 

He had just set his bare feet to the cold white tiles when the door opened. The tall figures of Angela and Jack Morrison walking in had him frozen. 

Jack's presence after what happened to Hanzo could only mean one thing.

" _ No _ ." He seethed, standing up as tall as he could, sneer on his face. Angela sighed as Jack walked in slowly with his hands clasped behind his back.

Calm and collected, the very face of stoicism. Hanzo took a step back, hands curled into fists with bared teeth. 

"Whatever you are here to tell me, I find myself disinterested."

Jack and Angela glanced at each other. 

"Shimada." Jack's voice sounded like it was thick with gravel. His face was mottled with scars but he somehow managed an expression of pity.

He hated it.

Hanzo should have known this was coming. His stomach wrenched violently and breathing became difficult at the idea of living on Gibraltar for a longer amount of time because of his _'mental_ _instability'_.

Hanzo wasn't an idiot. He knew something was terribly wrong with him, he could feel it with every breath he took and in the way his dragons angrily roared almost constantly in the recesses of his consciousness. They were wildly agitated.

But he  _ needed _ off this base. He needed blood on his pointed arrows. The pounding of his feet asphalt as he maneuvered the concrete jungles as he hunted for his target. The moment before he released an arrow, the tension in his arms, back and neck. 

He needed something  _ solid _ , something sure in the murky fog that his psyche was becoming. 

Nothing was more reliable to him than the swift end of his enemy by his hand.

"I understand why you might want to bench me, but I assure  _ you _ keeping  _ me _ on this rock will do me more harm. I  _ need _ to leave." He bit out almost desperately. The growing sense of claustrophobia that had been  _ creeping _ up his spine the past few weeks was becoming unbearable. He needed to move. He needed  _ out. _

Jack stared at him with a frown, eyes giving him an answer before he even opened his mouth. Hanzo clenched his teeth and stormed past the older soldier. Before he pushed the doors of the med bay open, a calloused hand tightly grabbed his arm.

"Angela gave me the update on your condition. I'm sorry but I can't clear you for any of the missions you usually take." Hanzo refused to turn to face him and resisted ripping his arm away. 

"But..." Hanzo spun his head around, an incredulous look stamped on his face.

"We've got some new recruits that are in need of proper training. They have potential but they need a firm hand. You and Jesse will travel north to the watch point in the north pole to whip them into shape." Hanzo could feel the rapid thrum of excitement in his chest. He could finally be free of this makeshift prison.

Jack looked over him with hard pale blue eyes,calculating and appraising him.

"I won't lie to you, you will be observed and if you are deemed unstable in the slightest way or a threat to yourself and others in the base, I will bench you completely." Hanzo understood why Jack was being strict. The lives of hundreds and thousands of heros. Of course he's being cautious. 

"I expect these knotheads to be up to standard when you send them back down, you hear me?" He released his iron grip and hanzo stood taller, forcing a bored glare to hide his sweet relief. 

"I understand. "

\----

  
  


Hanzo didn't see Jesse for another week and a half. Most of his time was spent in the dining area, a ravenous hunger taking over him.

He spent most of his time cooking and eating dishes of all sorts. From the traditional dishes from his home to thick bratwurst he watched Reinhardt prepare for dinner.

Everyone watched in wonder as the normally moderate man became a...glutton almost overnight. 

Hanzo didn't notice. All he could feel was a bright and overwhelming hunger that food was temporarily dulling.

Genji sat across from Hanzo early in the morning on the watch point, watching him devour a stack of pancakes with sausages as neatly as he could. Amusement shone in his eyes as his brother polished off his third large serving of buttery and fluffy pancakes. Hanzo chose to ignore the heavy stare in favor of savoring the taste of the sweet syrup.    
  


Reinhardt was chatting with Brigitte animatedly, his tiny silver fork waving wildly in his large calloused hands. Next to them, Hana and Lúcio traded pictures of interesting things they encountered from their most recent missions over two bowls of sugary cereal. And Genji just  _ ate up _ the scene of his normally prim and proper brother pigging out rather uncharacteristically. He was practically beaming.

Hanzo let out a deep sigh of satisfaction as he finally finished his breakfast. But to his dismay, he suddenly let out a loud and  _ wet _ belch and slapped a hand over his traitorous mouth with wide eyes. Genji couldn't hold in his laughter any longer as Hanzo's face tinged pink in embarrassment. 

" _ Ususai _ !" Hanzo hissed at him, the frightening effect of his glare damped by the rosy flush on his cheekbones.

"_My_ _my_, it seems that McCree has left an impression on your manners big brother. " Genji choked out, putting a palm beneath his chin, his grin a blinding white. He left his visor in his room today, allowing his elder brother to see just how _hilarious_ he found the situation. 

_ "Be quiet _ . That's enough." Hanzo snapped at him before sipping his tea and staring behind his troublesome brother. Genji grinned widely at him. Genji had been on a classified stealth mission for the past 6 months. The only communication the brothers had were through the grumpy Jack who relayed to Hanzo how much Genji  _ missed _ and  _ loved _ him dearly through Blackwatch's old secret code.

It was quite the awkward exchange for the two older men.

Their relationship had improved  _ immensely _ with time and effort on both parts. Hanzo still had trouble forgiving himself for ruining his brother. Genji's forgiveness was more that Hanzo expected and deserved.

Nonetheless, Hanzo would miss even him more when he left Watchpoint Gibraltar. 

"Maybe the cowboy should work on making you happier, you're being crabbier than before. Not giving you enough attention eh  _ aniki _ ?" Genji gave him an innocent pout, his head tilted to the side while his eyes sparkled with mischief. Hanzo lurched over the dining table, just missing the laughing ninja whose head was nearly on the ground while his body was bent backwards.

Maybe Hanzo wouldn't miss this wretched pain in the ass after  _ all _ .

"What's up with you two anyways. Are you still staring at him like  _ that _ ?" Genji sat up straight, ignoring the dark glare his brother was sending him with practiced ease. The conversations around them were muted after the commotion the two brothers started. 

"He is!" Lucio suddenly interjected. Hanzo snapped his head to the innocently whistling young man. Hanzo stared at him incredulously while Hana snorted loudly into her palm.

Hanzo elected to ignore the outburst while his head throbbed. This morning was becoming a headache.

"Like  _ what _ ." Hanzo gritted out, seething openly at the smug looks his teammates were giving him. Genji scoffed and put a finger to his chin in an exaggerated stance of thinking.

"Oh! I don't know, like he climbs the heavens every morning to hang the sun in the sky, just for  _ you _ . Or like he's made of your favorite ice cream and it's a  _ hot summer day _ -"

"Don't be absurd. I do no such thing." Hanzo scoffed. Internally he cringed. Is that  _ really _ how he came off? 

Today was the day said cowboy was supposed to return from his mission with the new recruits. Today was also the day that Hanzo would be introduced to the recruits in question. 

He felt the familiar twinge of anxiety ease into his belly at the thought of living with new strangers  _ again _ , but it was outshined by the promise of freedom. 

Hanzo didn't dislike Watchpoint Gibraltar, in fact it was the closest thing he had to a home lately. It was just...with each day he felt the walls closing in on him and his agitation grew exponentially. There was a near constant internal struggle between keeping himself in his room and just dropping everything and leaving overwatch. 

Leaving overwatch was unacceptable. 

But he may face a new challenge with the responsibility Jack hefted onto him.

He didn't do well with new people due to his cold and austere demeanor but Jesse somehow always managed to make him seem more approachable in the eyes of others.

_ "Oh Hanzo? He wouldn't hurt a non murderous fly, look at him." _

Hanzo would always be an angry flustered mess but people were more relaxed around him afterwards.

Short jokes, wide grins and plenty of friendly physical contact, the archer found it hard to keep a smile at bay.

Hanzo and Genji enjoyed each other's company for a while longer. With more people walking into the kitchen for breakfast, Hanzo began feeling stifled, each presence seemingly adding more and more pressure to his chest. Hanzo wasn't much of a  _ people person _ in general but lately his love for solitude has been more extreme. 

Being in the common room with everyone there made his skin  _ prickle _ and crawl, his hands shake wildly as fear and pure unadulterated rage fought for dominance until he left.

Genji gave him a strange look, noting his rather relaxed form tensing subtly. 

"Brother, what ails you?"

"I am  _ well _ . Don't fret." Hanzo said unconvincingly, the lie obvious to his own ears.

Genji stared at him hard, shrewd eyes looking right into his soul in the piercing way only his brother and mother have been able to. He noticed the deep bags beneath his brothers eyes but assumed that he was simply not getting enough sleep. Hanzo shifted uncomfortably under his brothers unusually dark and heavy stare.

"No, something has been off ever since I returned...you feel off. Your dragons feel more antsy than usual..."

Hanzo resisted the urge to cover his face. The fact that they could sense each others spirit dragons completely skipped his mind. His dragons had been unsettled, restless and angry ever since shit hit the fan. Another reason he wanted to leave base, that maybe being out of him, consuming the flesh of his foes would set them at ease.

Genji frowned and opened his mouth to speak again when the entrance opened suddenly, Jesse McCree stumbled through with the grace of a newborn foal. 

Everyone looked up at the racket and Genji stood up  _ immediately _ . 

McCree looked in their direction and Hanzo could feel his teeth begin to grind against his will. Jesse laid his eyes on Genji who began climbing out of his seat and his cheeks lifted in a wide smile. 

But Hanzo's mind drifted as he stared at the cowboy.

The memory of that disturbing morning immediately sprung into his mind's eye and a fainter, warmer one that was completely forgotten bloomed in his vision like an old dream.

Of a  _ warm _ , smooth as whiskey voice piercing his foggy mind, singing low in a language unknown to him. Comfort inexplicably filling him as warm arms tightened around him, chasing his terror away. 

Hanzo frowned.

He had to leave.

"By the hair on my scraggly chin, is that my boy Genji? I can hardly recognize ya! You've grown  _ so _ much!" McCree teased as Genji nearly launched himself at the cowboy with open arms. 

  
  


"Oh shut up the only thing that's changed here is your belly getting bigger old man" Genji laughed gleefully as he clung onto the larger cowboy like a baby monkey.

"It has been  _ too long _ Jesse, I almost forgot how  _ ugly _ you are."

"Oh I'm  _ sorry _ we can't all be natural born beauty queens like you!"   
  


"Hah! I could teach you but you'd have to compensate me for mental trauma after looking at your ugly mug for an extended period of time." 

"You know what Genji? I don't think I missed you after all."

Hanzo stealthily slipped out of the dining area as his brother and the cowboy bickered. His stomach twisted mysteriously as he rushed to his room, his light mood suddenly spoiled.

  
  


\---

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wont lie , this chapter gave me a struggle but I managed to make it to the end. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, they really make my day, you guys have no idea ♡
> 
> Urasai- Shut up
> 
> Aniki- Brother

**Author's Note:**

> There's the first chapter! Let me know if I made any errors, and please consider commenting. I can use any help I can get to improve not only my writing but also the story with your suggestions. 
> 
> Thank you!


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